Feeling Deeply Remorseful After A Break Up
“Kloudiia
I broke up with my girl friend on June. Till now I can’t get over her because I only realise how deep my love is for her…
There’s a story that goes, “couple will only truely treasure each other after accident”, and this is my case! I regretted that after the quarrel with her, I didn’t make the effort to call her.
After few months of ‘cooling period’, the pain of losing her starts surfacing. I know I can’t get myself over is not because I cannot stand the loneliness or sorrow, but in fact I love her so much that I don’t want to let her go.
Life is miserable for me, I know I have met the right person, but at the wrong time, as in since she is my 1st partner, I did make a lot of silly mistakes which anger her, & I also take her for granted sometimes.
Kloudiia, I’m lost, I’m so lost… She says she has no more feeling for me, but my feeling for her is much greater than before. She shun me while letting other guys to enter her life… She is looking for a job now & I don’t want to disturb her with relationship problem, but I’m really scared that as time goes by, our feeling will eventually fade away… I am so scared that she will be with another guy sooner or later…sob~” - KS
Dear KS
Oh dear, I can feel how deep your remorse is from your mail. You know, in a relationship, it takes two to tango. So as much as you really like to be with her again, you know as well as I do that you can’t force love to happen again, do you agree?
I’m not sure if she meant it when she said she had no more feelings for you. Did she tell you this in person, or via other indirect modes of communication like sms or perhaps, email? How much of it does she mean, do you know?
If you don’t, is there anything else you can do to get a more confirmed answer?
Before you approach her again to ask for a reunion, are you ready to be a “new” boyfriend to her? Have you really known how to not take things for granted, and how to avoid making those “silly mistakes” that angered her in the past? And if you do upset her, do you know how to handle arguments effectively?
I understand you feel lost, as you could be getting more and more anxious as time goes by, waiting hopelessly for her to turn her head back and look at you and give you a second chance. Feeling lost is a natural behaviour and response.
But what is it you would like to feel instead? I’m sure you agree that feeling lost and panicky doesn’t really help in getting her back, don’t you? But, knowing what you can do and what is in your control does. So, would you like to do this?
Would you like to start making changes to yourself and the way you handle relationships while you show her your sincerity in patching back?
Would you like me to assist you on this? If you do, email me and let’s see how we can work out a coaching arrangement so that you will learn to be a better boyfriend and partner.
You may also like to know that I have an upcoming seminar this Saturday, which I believe will benefit you a lot. You can take it as a starter on learning about relationships, and what went wrong with your previous one and how you can resolve such issues if you were to get back with her again, or if you were to begin another relationship in future.
I hope that you will grow to be a better person, and that you will find love and happiness!
Love, Kloudiia
[tags]love advice, dating & relationships, breaking up, patch back, ex-girlfriend, taking for granted, love on rebound[/tags]
thanks for the reply…. everything is different now…
she’s with another guy now, and the guy happens to be my roommate >
I’m sorry to hear about this KS, but at the same time, doesn’t it also give you some form of relief to know the truth? At least you can channel your energy and thoughts towards getting over that relationship and moving on. I’m sure you will be able to find another girl you love. All the best to you
Hi Kloudiia….
some updates, life’s been ‘back to normal’ to me now. I have wasted half a year to heal myself, and there were many friends out there who walked together with me, really thankful for their presence & help…
i met a gal during that period of remorse. end up i get very close to her n i developed feeling for her… i confess myself to her but i didnt expect anything, coz i know i have not completely let go of my past… we continued to go out tgt and i can feel that she likes me as well although she didnt speak of her feeling…
that day, i invited my friends to my party, and since then she has been dating him! lol… how sarcastic… one day she told me that she n he are couples alr! gosh~ she explained to me that she had also considered me, but she didnt wanted to be the ’3rd’ person because i have not sorted out my past…
i know why i can treat this new found gal so nice… it’s because i have changed, i want to changed for my ex, but since my love for her (ex) didnt have any means to channel out, the only way to release my ‘love’ is to treat her (new) nice & sweet. the gal was touched, but knowing the feeling of being in someone else rebound relationship, she nvr accepted me but my friend…
anyway, im feeling much better now. i really feel that im a better person now. i am not hoping that she will (ex) come back to me, but if someday we were tgt again, i know my love will move her once more!
Hi ks, thanks for your update. To begin with, I hope you don’t find the time to heal yourself as wasted, not if it had brought a new perspective for you in terms of relationships. It is time well-invested! As the saying goes “Time is the best medicine”, you have done well for yourself. You deserve a pat on your back for resolving to be strong!
And isn’t it great to discover some buddies you have and the kind of support they have given you? Friendship is really a blessing, and I hope you will treasure them when you have it.
Continue to work on getting over your past relationship, so that when you meet the next one, you will be totally ready to accept love once again. This time, on a completely new slate, ok?
All the best ks!
funny how i am in the same situation…except she consider me as her best friend and such but i do want to get back with her..she told me that I hurt her badly and that and she’s hurt because i have broken up with her…but i told her i’ve learned is the best way to be their as a bf and show her that i’ve changed….i’ve gone to do other things too but ill be there when she needs me but i have my other life i focus on. She also talked to me yesterday about how the guy she’s dating right now doesnt feel as if she’s in a relationship. Supposedly the guy is too busy for her and she wants to go out beside studying all the time. What should i do?