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“Dear Kloudiia

It just occurred to me that I want to have children and a family. However the problem is I’m a single 30 year old woman who never dated and is absolutely clueless about love and relationships. Too independent for my own good this has not made me the most approachable female. In short I have no idea how to start dating. Any advise given is most appreciated.” - P

Dear P

Over dinner the night before, I exclaimed this “30 is the new prime for women!”. And I truly mean it then.

Women in their 30s are so much more confident and clear in their directions than when they were in their 20s. I believe that you are too, not only in terms of career management but also in life wisdom. So it’s better late than never! I’m so excited that you are now ready to challenge the realm of dating! Are you?

You’re most probably right that being too independent doesn’t make you the most approachable female. But that doesn’t mean you should undermine what could be one of the greatest strength of yours.

The most important thing to seeking a potential mate is to know who you are in the capacity as a person and a partner. Then you need to list down traits that will make you two compatible. Make use of your life experiences to come up with two list – one for yourself and one for the one you are looking for.

Then you can start using that to date men. As to how you should behave in dates, you can read this article I wrote – “10 First Date No-Nos“ as a starter.

Compatibility – that’s the key. It’s not going to make you happy if you were to follow the crowd and nab the most eligible bachelor if this man isn’t going to complement your weakness and embrace your strength.

Here are 5 tips that will help you to start dating at the age of 30:

1. Have an open mind. Do not discount anyone at first sight. You never know what’s inside a person until you give each other a chance to discover.
2. Develop conversation. I know this can be a pretty hard one. But always bear in mind to engage the other person in a meaningful conversation so that you will know what their values are, and how compatible he can be with you. I coach clients on the art to starting a conversation with anyone too, if you are keen.
3. Broadcast. Tell your friends that you are now ready to date and ask them to introduce people to you. Have your list ready so that you can run them through which are the most important traits you are looking for. Don’t be greedy and expect a man to score perfect 10. Always have the top 3 ones on hand.
4. Mindset. Just tell yourself to have a good time and meet someone new. Do not give yourself undue pressure that you are looking for a husband, but rather you are widening your social circle and you are having a fun and relaxed time. Your vibes will be picked up by the other party. So the last thing you want him to feel is you really need a husband. Get that? *wink*
5. Make yourself available. This is so, so imperative! Asking others for some assistance, even though you don’t need it, could be one of the ways to start an opener with a colleague or a friend.

Have fun P, and all the best to you. You have to stay positive in this aspect, because when you believe, you will have it. Love goes to the believers.

Love, Kloudiia

[tags]dating & relationship, singles, boyfriend, partner, love advice, courtship, love coaching[/tags]