How To Make More Female Friends
“Kloudiia,
Hi, I am currently an NSF still serving my NS (National Service). Due to my quiet character, I have not made many female friends. Thus, leading to me still being single. I would like to ask you what should I do so that I can make more female friends?” - K
Dear K
Before I tell you what you should do, I’d like to ask you to ask yourself this:
What have you done so far to make more female friends?
Of those things that you’ve done and efforts you made, what worked and what didn’t? Why they work, and why they didn’t?
There are a thousand and one ways to widen your social circle and make more friends of the opposite gender. But you have to know yourself well enough to know which method suits you the best and will produce the maximum results for you. Hence, I hope the above exercise will help to bring clarity to you in this aspect.
Now, what can you do? Here are some suggestions and pointers you can consider:
- Friend’s girlfriends. They can be a good source for you to meet ladies, especially if you are the shy type who dare not approach girls in public. Meet your friends’ girlfriends and if you like their character, chances are their best girlfriends would be pretty close to your liking as well. Get them to recommend! Go out as a group and develop friendships naturally.
- Have an open mind. Do not constrain yourself that you will only befriend girls who fall within your pre-set parameters. Now is not the time to decide on your future partner, but to really be in the thick of things and enjoy bubbling friendships. Learn how to communicate with the opposite sex, what they are thinking of, what they want.
- Expand your existing base. Before lunging into the foreign worlds, why not tap onto your existing treasures? You said you do not have many female friends, that means you do have a few, right? What is the best way to find out how and where to make more female friends than from the same elusive group of human? Pick up your phone and check with your current gal friends now.
- Be daring. Hey, you are in NS now! Our country needs bravery from you, and your social life needs the same thing from you too! Pluck up your courage and make that first step. Tell yourself that you are only making friends, and not asking her to be your girlfriend. If you have issues on your confidence, we can work on that separately. (Since you have a quiet nature, maybe this post can give you an idea on how to start)
- Go online! At the rate of internet penetration into our society, there is no way we can sideline this option of going online to foster friendships. Social sites like Facebook and Friendster are good avenues to start with. Be genuine and sincere as there could be many guys who are out to “fish”. You can also join some forums and be active there. I understand that forum members do organise outings every now and then. In this way, you not only get to meet those female members you have been chatting online with, you are really going out to socialise and not hard core dating.
K, as I’ve said, whether any one method works depends on you. It’s good to tune your mindset to that of meeting people and socialising rather than dating and choosing a partner to begin with. This not only reduces unnecessary stress you could be adding onto yourself, it also means you have a higher chance of making an approach successful.
Good luck to you and may you enjoy this new journey of yours!
Love, Kloudiia
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