LuvLifeCoach.com

“Dear Kloudiia 

1) I am 30 years old single and would like to find out how I can improve my social skills and enlarge my social circle despite long hours at work, and how to remain optimistic that its not too late at my age to find the right guy?

2) Should we have some idea about the type of guy that suits us and know what we want in a future partner so as to prevent wasting of time or should we keep our mind open and get to know people even though they may not look or seem to be the type we like ?

3) Do you believe that when we are destined to cross path with the guy of our life, things will happen at the right time and place and we should not be too focused on finding love, as the more we search the more it may elude us?

4) Hope you dont mind a personal question, but no obligation to answer if you prefer to have it remain confidential May I know how did you come to know you have this “calling” and passion about being a relationship coach and could you share how you knew your husband is the one for you, was there that right feeling and just knew he’s the one?” - A

Dear A

You are very organised, as I can see. So let me reply you in the same fashion, ok?

1. Remain positive and stay optimistic you shall A! I was still a swinging single, very busy and focused on my career at that age too! But never for a second did I doubted that I won’t find my Mr. Right as I held the firm belief that I would definitely meet him. At the same time, do not hasten to settle for any other guy just because you have reached 30. Therefore, what you can do is to continue to believe and maybe you can start visualising your future partner too. Who knows what the Law of Attraction will bring you when you set your sights firm on marriagehood?

What specifically about your social skills you want to improve on? Pinpoint them and seek help from books, seminars or from friends whom you know are good in those areas you are weak at. Coaching is another alternative you can consider.

As for your busy work life, maybe setting priorities can open you to more options? How have you managed your free time? What kind of changes or activities will you squeeze in to spice up your social life? How important is sprucing up your personal life? If it is very important, and it is a must for you to return to the dating scene, then I trust that you will know what decision to make when the options are laid out. 

2. A woman tends to panic more only when having children is in her cards, and she realises her biological clock is ticking. If you have this baby dream too, then you need to be more selective. But before you start deleting guys off your potential partner’s list, you have to know yourself well enough to determine what type of man suit you.

Do you know what type of men make your knees go weak? And do such guys match up to the more realistic side like stability, honesty, integrity and security as what most women look for when looking for a future marriage partner?

You see, many times we may have to forgo quite a bit of our wishes. That is why a man who suits you may not be the one who makes you go jelly at first sight, but that doesn’t mean chemistry won’t be built up over time, does it?

If now you are pretty clueless on the type of man who suits you, then the only way to find out is to date any guy that comes along the way. And with each one, observe what makes your heart skip a beat and what makes you want to leave right away. Come up with your own list and very soon, the answer will surface. Even if you aren’t attracted in any way to a guy, give him a chance to have a decent meal together, because you will never know how high inner substance ranks in your list with regards to physical looks unless you test it out.

3. I believe that Cupid may bring two strangers together to meet for the first time, but the rest is up to human action. Even when they are married, more efforts and harder work need to be done to maintain a marriage healthy. Relationships that last aren’t products of luck, or fate or destiny. It is the result of plenty of understanding, compromising, patience, tolerance, love and communication between two committed people.

Love won’t drop on your laps if you don’t put yourself out into the market and be seen. For fate to help us, one needs to help oneself first. Do you agree?

4. I come from a divorced family and hence I went through a certain amount of pain and distrust for men and relationships myself. But I walked through that period and I like to be able to do the same for those who want to have a partner.

As for my hubby, well, to put it this way. Though there is this feeling that tells me he most probably is “the one”, nevertheless I don’t leave things to chance by depending fully on my feeling. I checked if we are compatible or not before I finally say “I do” in church.

A, at your age I believe you will know what you want better than if you were at 25. Therefore, celebrate your maturity and not let it come in your way. Believe that you are the best and you deserve the best, than you will get it.

All the best to you

Love, Kloudiia

[tags]singles, dating, relationship, busy executives, marriage partner, is he the one[/tags]