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From Long Time Friends To Lovers

You’ve probably seen it unfolding on TV because such a development is good material to dramatise and create a climax for viewers to be hooked.

If reel life is a reflection in real life, minus the drama part, then we can expect to see some of these action developing in our surroundings and we can learn some lessons from it.

How to go from long time friends to lovers? It seems like the challenge is about crossing that fine line. Friendship could be at stake here, and that’s why anyone who is making this attempt has to tread very carefully.

I just attended the wedding of this couple who have been good friends for more than 10 years. The platonic relationship saw the guy giving the gal support whenever she needed help. She treated him much better than any ordinary guy friend too, but sparks just didn’t flew between them. In fact, during the times when she was fell in and out of love, he was always there to hear the stories and lend her his shoulder.

It wasn’t until something happened in her family and he was still the one who was there all the time that they both realised that maybe, the relationship could be brought to another level after all. Maybe love has already crept in without them knowing. 

What can we learn from this couple? Several things, like

1. What’s impossible then might be possible now.

Circumstances change. People change. So what used to be impossible then may take some unexpected development. As we mature, our criteria for a marriage partner will definitely be different due to the dating and relationship experiences we accumulated over time. Hence, what didn’t fit then may just be the ones that will gel now.

Why is this important to know? Because it squashes the belief that if things can happen, it would have happened long ago, and if you are still platonic friends after 10 years, then you will continue to be for the next 10 to 20 years.

Fact is, you never know what is in store in the future.

2. Care and concern.

What can beat geunine care and concern for your friend? Even the coldest heart can be melted when you continuosly show that his/her interests are also yours each and every time. That’s what the guy did and eventually, even though the girl didn’t think it was possible between them at first due to the absense of “love sparks”, she thought twice when he stuck around caring and supporting her at a time of crisis.

3. The mystery of chemistry.

This is the reason that gives rise to the belief that if things will happen, it will happen long ago. Well, chemistry doesn’t equal attraction. Of course the latter helps to speed things up but it is not to be mistaken as chemistry.

Chemistry is a process. It’s a voyage, and it is developed as people get to know each other better. You begin to feel that the air is different when he suddenly completes your sentences. Your thinking frequency becomes in line and you share the same outlook towards life in general. That is chemistry. Do you get it at first sight? Rarely.

But you do get “electrocuted” at first sight. That’s the heart-thumping feeling you get when you first see the person. This is attraction. When one is attracted to another, our body finds pleasure in the company of this person. Naturally, you will feel good, and this feeling good is what many mistake as chemistry!

For this couple, after 10 years of friendship and almost 2 years of dating and courtship, they have more chemistry than the couple on the street with only 2 months of hot, sizzling passion between them.

3 lessons that refute the 3 myths people have about long-term friendships turning into romantic relationships. What can you learn from them and how can you apply to your own case, if you are caught in such a situation too?

[tags]dating & relationship, love and marriage, platonic friendships, long term friendship, secret admiring, unrequited love[/tags]

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  1. [...] here if you like to read about how this couple went from being long time friends to lovers and now, a [...]

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