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Being appreciated can be one of the greatest way of feeling loved and being recognised by anyone, be it our partners, parents, siblings, colleagues, friends or supervisors in work. Yet, despite their importance on one’s esteem and happiness, it is one of the most taken granted for.

In the past 7 days, has anyone praised you or told you what a wonderful person you have been or what a great job you have done?

If you haven’t, then fret not for you are certainly not in the minority group.

But if appreciation is such an important factor for one to feel good, then why isn’t we getting it? Or rather, why isn’t there enough appreciation going on around in this world?

There is a guy who came up to me recently and told me that he doesn’t feel appreciated or loved by his wife. I ask him what does it mean for him to feel appreciated? He said if his wife could thank him for working so hard for them he would feel that his efforts are worth it. I asked if his wife knew that he would like to hear her saying that? He said this: “Does she need me to tell her to tell me this?”

I replied: “What makes you think that she knows you need to hear her saying this if you don’t tell her?”

He looked at me for a while, and said: “But if I told her, then it would not sound real, right? I mean, it’s like me teaching her how to praise me. Then that’s not a real compliment already, isn’t it?”

I told him: “You’re teaching her how to love you in a way you like to be loved. You’re telling her you need appreciation from her time and again, because this will give you the energy in life.”

He was stunned for a while, before he nodded his head slowly and smiled. I think he got it!

Well, maybe it’s time that we stop whining about how we don’t get appreciated by people who matter to us, but start taking action to attract all these appreciation into our lives! Who says you can’t verbalise your need and want for appreciation to your boss, your spouse, your friend or even your parents?

If they don’t know they aren’t givng you what you want, then isn’t it your job to let them know? Of course, it’s not about you walking up and demand something like “I want you to show me your appreciation!” but rather by first giving yourself or your service to others and in turn, telling them nicely that you would really be thankful if they were to let you know when you’ve done an excellent job!

Ask, and you will receive.

At least, you are creating opportunities and windows for happiness, love, joy and satisfaction to flow into your life.

Remember, when you get it, be grateful and express your gratitude to the giver.

That’s how relationship is built and maintained.