Confused Over A Break Up
“Hi Kloudiia,
I just broke up with my boyfriend few weeks back, because I found out that there’s a third party involved. We ended up arguing because he didn’t wanna explain and so we broke up. Now we’re not talking to each other anymore. I’m confused now. I don’t know what to do …” - J
Dear J
Breaking up is never a thing that gives someone joy. However, it can be a thing very worth while to do, especially if the relationship isn’t making you a better person and giving you love and peace.
I can understand why you’re feeling confused now. You must be wondering if all this is real. Is your boyfriend really cheating? If so, why didn’t you get any hint of it earlier?
Are you also having doubts about yourself, and perhaps even beginning to blame yourself for causing this break up? Are you feeling bad? Feeling less attractive even?
If you are, I really would wish that you stop breeding all these negative thoughts. When a third party comes into the picture, it usually is the result of several factors. We can’t be exactly sure what these are, but we can be certain that it isn’t the fault of one person alone. He could be non-committal right from the start, or both of you could be really incompatible. You can’t be completely sure why he cheated, but what you can control is how you treat this event.
When you’re feeling less overwhelmed and are ready to face the fact that this relationship is over, give yourself some time to think through what had gone wrong. I’m sure there are lessons that you can learn, wouldn’t you agree?
And, isn’t breaking up a better solution than staying together? Why would you want to hang on to a relationship that is no longer pure and loyal? Why would you want to commit yourself to a man whose heart doesn’t belong to you anymore?
Given time, I believe you’d get over this and move forward. Meanwhile, do things that will cheer you up. Most importantly, keep feeding positive thoughts and emotions into your brain. You really are worth to have someone who truly loves you and treats you well. When you thought you’ve lost something, you could actually have gained more instead. So, be open.
I wish you all the best, and may peace be in your heart always.
Love, Kloudiia
