LuvLifeCoach.com

“Hi Kloudiia,

I’ve a boyfriend whom we have been together for 5yrs+. We have LDR (long distance relationship) since March 2009. and we had a lot quarrels from March-June 2009. Ended up in July 2009, he called for a month cool down period..

At that time, I came to know about The 69 Love Notes.. I really appreciate the contents of the book and I committed to myself to make the changes because I WANT a loving and long-term relationship.

After the cool down period, we got back together. He noticed my changes, but deep in his heart, he feel uneasy as he thought all the changes that I’ve made is just because of his ‘threatening’.. and claim that the ‘feel’ has lost… he is coming back this week.. What should I do??

Do I need to take up the love couching program? If yes, HOW?

Hope to hear from you real soon.” - Q

Dear Q

I’m glad to hear that you’re committed to making changes so that you can have a long-term relationship, really glad. Not many people out there are willing to put in effort and work hard to achieve this, you know? So, regardless of how your relationship with your boyfriend turns out, you deserve to give yourself a pat on the back for the great work you’ve done!

I’m not sure why your boyfriend says he no longer feels for you, though I do suspect the frequent quarrels in the past could be a major reason. You see, when a couple goes through a period of constant arguments, the negative energy that hangs around them can cause them to lose all the nice and good feelings they used to have for each other. Unless they both have the commitment to want to ride it out no matter what, and learn new techniques to resolve the issues that are troubling them, chances are the relationship is heading towards the end.

Your boyfriend could genuinely be unconvinced that your changes are for the purpose of wanting to save the relationship, or he could be using it as a facade. He might be feeling insecure that you have made progress and he has still remained the same. Or, he might be using that as an excuse so that he doesn’t have to admit that he no longer likes you.

Or, none of these are true. He could genuinely believe that what you have been doing is not going to last. If this is the case, then the only way to let him know you’re really committed to making the relationship work is to continue to be a better person and apply those strategies and tips you’ve learnt. Time will show the truth, wouldn’t you agree?

I think it’d be good to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend. Ask him to be completely honest with you. Find out what’s the real reason for the initial breakup, and if he sees this relationship having a future.

You can consider taking up coaching if you want to have a clearer idea of what you actually want and how to get there.

Lastly, I wish that you and your boyfriend will be able to work out all these confusions and doubts circling each of you and your relationship. I hope that regardless of how your relationship turns out eventually, you’d still continue to practise those things you’ve learnt from my book. Because you should have probably come to realise by now that they not only help you to have a lasting and loving relationship, when applied on oneself, the tips are also great to prepare you better for the next one to come.

All the best, Q.

Love, Kloudiia