Swinging In A Rocky Relationship
Dear A
I’m proud of you for holding on to your principles in withholding pre-marital sex. Well done!
Do you generally have difficulty in trusting people? Or did your suspicions arise out of your boyfriend’s secrecy? If it’s the latter, have you communicated your feelings toward his unexplained behaviour to him? Let him know how you feel when he’s keeping things from you, but refrain from blaming him for making you insecure, because that’s your own thought in response to his action, not that he is forcing you to be doubtful.
It’s normal for couples to keep each other informed of their whereabouts, but if he has gone overboard by bombarding you with calls, maybe you’d like to consider if he’s invading into your own space too much. Will he loosen his grip after you tell him gently that his interference is suffocating, and not what you find to be loving? If not, then you probably should be thinking how comfortable you are to have him tracking you so intensely. He does sound like too controlling while desiring an unlimited of freedom on his side.
Well, whether or not he’s cheating on you, you can only know if he’s honest with you. But it seems that you have certain unresolved issues of trust with him, so you have to work on this if you plan to keep this relationship going. Otherwise, you’re going to believe that he’s cheating on you, even if he may not be. A relationship with no trust is sitting on very rocky grounds, and just a nudge will bring it to shatters.
In every relationship, there will be some parts that we love and enjoy, and others that we have to endure or compromise on. Nobody is perfect, we just learn to live with those imperfections. So, is what you’re getting out from this relationship more important than what you’re not getting? Maybe by answering this question as honest as possible, you’ll know the choice to make.
When you say that he’s unwilling to break after you initiate it, did you set any rules for him to adhere to? Why did you want to break up? Be clear on your reasons, and if you are giving him and the relationship a chance, then both parties need to know where is the line that they have to keep within. At least in this way, you’re not ding-donging between the two outcomes and the possibilities. You set the markers to tell you when you need to make a decision.
Lastly, both of you are very young, and I’m not very certain if you know how to handle a relationship. It’s not just the I-love-you and You-love-me romantic heart-beating emotions, it’s much, much more. If you haven’t read my book, I’d urge you to get a copy and read it. Your boyfriend should find it an easy read to, as many of my male readers have feedback to me. A suggestion for you to consider!
All the best, A.
Love, Kloudiia
