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“Kloudiia

My boyfriend has broken off with me. I kept thinking of how to get him to change his mind. I chanced upon your site and I know I need to move on but I find it so so tough.” - J

Dear J

Moving on after a break-up is not easy for certain people, especially for those who did not initiate to end the relationship. It sounds like you belong to this category.

You probably know this, but I’m going to say it anyway. In life, you can’t change another person. The only person you have control over and whom you can change is yourself. Therefore, how do you think you would be able to change his mind if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings anymore? Would it be more useful if you were to use those energy to focus on yourself instead?

What were you experiencing when you were thinking of how to change his mind about you and the relationship? Write your experience down on a piece of paper. This method can help you not only to release your pent-up emotions, it also helps to give you the true picture of current reality.

When you’ve finally faced up to reality that the break-up is real, is happening and is irreversible (whether or not you can patch back, the ball doesn’t seem to be in your court, so assume that it’s irreversible now), accept it and move on.

You have to move on regardless. You may like to read my blog post on 7 ways to deal with painful breakups.

I’m not sure if you and your ex would patch back eventually, however, that’s an unknown future and thus shouldn’t be mixed with your present status. If the patch-back happens, I would assume that it is because the issues that resulted in your first breakup were resolved and would never be a reason for conflict again. If it doesn’t happen, well, you know you still can be as happy, if not, even happier than before because of the postiive changes you’ve made to your life.

There are some people who engaged me to work with them on issues that they believed led to their breaking up with their partners so that they would not see the same pattern occuring in their future one. If you like to work on this as well as moving on, you can talk to me and we’ll see how our coaching programme can assist you in this aspect.

In the meantime, do yourself a huge favour. Get out of your home and indulge in a favourite activity. Just make yourself feel good. You cannot imagine how, at times, just feeling good can make such a huge difference to motivate you to take action in your life.

All the best to you J.

Love, Kloudiia

Unknowingly and without any prior rehearsal, both of us clasped our palms and placed them below our chin as we chatted with the guy sitting across the table. It would have been brushed off as nothing unusual, except that I suddenly had this discovery – we were in rapport!

Stuart and I were in an exact same position. Though for only one minute, it said something about us. And this something, is in my opinion, what every single is looking for in a date – chemistry.

It has always been my stand that chemistry is not the heart-beating feeling you get when you meet someone on the first date, but something that is developed through time. This feeling is more of attraction than chemistry. 

Chemistry is that unspoken tact you share with a person. If the bond you have with another person is the channel that connects both of you, then chemistry is the fluid that flows interchangeably between the two of you. This fluid carries emotions and thoughts from one person to another, making them in tune and in sync with each other.

How do we build chemistry? If according to those people who insist that chemistry is that heart-beating feeling or that “you’ll know it when you first see the person” mentality, then chemistry is not something that is built over time, but is something that you either have it, or you don’t.

But what these people fail to realise is when you think you have chemistry with this person whom you just met, you are actually in rapport with him/her. If this person is skilled at building rapport with people, then chances are almost everyone will feel that they have chemistry with him! But that doesn’t necessarily mean these people know what he’s thinking of if he doesn’t say it out. However, someone who really has chemistry with him would most probably guess what is going on in his mind at a certain time.

When someone is attracted to another person, they experience some chemical reactions in their brains. Our brains emit this chemical – dopamine – that gives you pleasure and make you happy. And that is chemistry! But this is derived from another component – attraction. You feel this chemistry because you’re attracted to this person. Furthermore, if he/she builds rapport with you within the first 5 minutes, you’ll then feel as if you’ve known him/her for half a century. Again, you attribute this to chemistry. In actual fact, it is attraction plus good rapport, and these don’t add up to be known as chemistry (though it’s a great start to developing excellent chemistry!).

So the next time when you go on a date and you don’t feel anything special going on, do not brush the person off with that same, old reason - ”no chemistry”. Give each other a second chance to meet up again and find out more. Who knows, the chemistry might begin to develop once you’ve hit a common ground.

But if you are insistent that nothing good will come out of the dates, then at least do yourself a favour by admitting that your date isn’t attractive enough to live up to your expectations. In this way you make progress by knowing that you have a certain standard to measure up to with regards to physical outlook. And being able to know and acknowledge this is already taking a step ahead in your search for that special someone! At least now you know the reason why you guys have “no chemistry”, right?

On another note, if you and your date have absolutely nothing much in common, can’t hold a conversation decently for more than 5 minutes or one of you displays a certain behaviour that just about hit the alarm button of the other party, then I’d say, yes, move on to another person.

And when you meet someone with whom you feel you can instantly click with, congratulations! However, do not forget to still find out more about this person, because he/she may just be an expert in rapport-building and is probably very attractive who makes you feel good but may not be the right one for you after all.

And if you’re wondering if you can learn how to build rapport with anyone at anytime, the good news is – yes, you can. In fact, anyone can! And this is one of the things that I teach in my programmes and seminars as well.

“Dear Kloudiia

I have a girlfriend of 4 years. Recently, I started a hobby of blogging about social issues and through it, I got to know this girl M. Fast forward to 1 month later, I realise that I have fallen for M very deeply. I have told my girlfriend about this and we have discuss a lot on this. She wants me to pursue my happiness but at the same time to continue to love her. Now, mentally I have already decided that I wish to woo M, but at the same time, I still love my girlfriend. I know that it will be very unfair if I’m indecisive on who I wish to be with. On one hand I wish to be with M to see what lies in the future. On the other hand, I do not wish to hurt my girlfriend.

Some guys will think that I have the best of both worlds. 2 women willing to share me with someone else but I do not think it is great. Currently I am in the process of hating myself for being human. I do wish that all these never happen. That both women do not love me. That would be the best for me.” - DL

Dear DL

First of all, Happy New Year!

I certainly can feel how torn you must be experiencing right now, and yes, I agree with you that being in such a situation isn’t really a cause for joy, much to your friends (I’m quite sure they’re guys, right?) disappointment.

First and foremost, stop hating yourself! The fact that you can’t make a decision now doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. And you know as well as I do that you are far from one, and that’s why both girls are willing to work out such an arrangement in order to enjoy your personalised attention and maybe, affection?

Now comes the pill that’s probably hard for you to swallow. As much as you are procrastinating on it, I’m afraid you have to make a decision. It’s a MUST. I’m sorry, there are no other solutions. Because if you continue to go on like this, all 3 of you will be hurt more deeply than if you were to make up your mind now and choose to be with one. (or none?)

No one can foresee what the future lies, and it’s understandable that you’re curious about how you and M would be if you were an item. Yet, is this the most intriguing part of your relationship with her? Because if it is, I’m afraid it’s a bad reason to begin a relationship! You’ll always end up wondering what will it be like to be with someone else if that person comes along and attracts you like how M did now!

Or is there something else that makes you so intensely attracted to her? What is it? Is it her intelligence? Her wit? Her charm? Her ability to strike a conversation on a topic that interests you deeply (Since you mentioned you knew her from your blog)?

Does your girlfriend have all these traits too? If yes, then why aren’t you appreciating them? If not, then why aren’t you communicating to her that you like to be able to discuss issues close to your heart with her every now and then?

Because what you’re experiencing now is a huge dose of chemicals in your brain that is causing you to think of nobody else but M. So, you may not be even thinking about how to mend the drift between you and your girlfriend.

Yes, you’re in love (no doubt!), AGAIN, but that’s not what is going to make a relationship sustain through time and allow two parties in that relationship to grow concurrently.

Have you given some time to think about your current relationship with your girlfriend? Usually, when one party has a change of heart, instead of using the time to figure out whether or not your future will be rosier with the new person, why aren’t you looking inwards at yourself and your current relationship? If there isn’t anything broken, you wouldn’t be seeking for a replacement right? So what has broken down between you and your girlfriend? What is it that you want now which you may not want it before?

Regardless of what arrangements both ladies want, it’s up to you to decide what YOU want. Your girlfriend wants to keep you by her side, while M is afraid to be committal right now. So, before you make this decision, ask yourself what does a relationship mean to you? What do you expect to get from it? And what can you offer to a relationship? Are you already doing it now? Can you do better?

When you have all these answers, you’ll probably know what decision to make.

That’s all I have for you now. If you need some personalised assistance, you may consider taking up coaching. Drop me an email and I’ll get in touch with you.

Things will surely get better DL, when you decide to make a choice. Whatever choice you make, it’s always better than being stuck where you are now, because at least you have a direction from there.

All the best to you and may you and your family enjoy a happy 2009 ahead!

Love, Kloudiia

Luv Specialists would like to wish all of you a happy and blessed 2009!

Reach for the stars, and go for your dreams.

Stay healthy!

Being appreciated can be one of the greatest way of feeling loved and being recognised by anyone, be it our partners, parents, siblings, colleagues, friends or supervisors in work. Yet, despite their importance on one’s esteem and happiness, it is one of the most taken granted for.

In the past 7 days, has anyone praised you or told you what a wonderful person you have been or what a great job you have done?

If you haven’t, then fret not for you are certainly not in the minority group.

But if appreciation is such an important factor for one to feel good, then why isn’t we getting it? Or rather, why isn’t there enough appreciation going on around in this world?

There is a guy who came up to me recently and told me that he doesn’t feel appreciated or loved by his wife. I ask him what does it mean for him to feel appreciated? He said if his wife could thank him for working so hard for them he would feel that his efforts are worth it. I asked if his wife knew that he would like to hear her saying that? He said this: “Does she need me to tell her to tell me this?”

I replied: “What makes you think that she knows you need to hear her saying this if you don’t tell her?”

He looked at me for a while, and said: “But if I told her, then it would not sound real, right? I mean, it’s like me teaching her how to praise me. Then that’s not a real compliment already, isn’t it?”

I told him: “You’re teaching her how to love you in a way you like to be loved. You’re telling her you need appreciation from her time and again, because this will give you the energy in life.”

He was stunned for a while, before he nodded his head slowly and smiled. I think he got it!

Well, maybe it’s time that we stop whining about how we don’t get appreciated by people who matter to us, but start taking action to attract all these appreciation into our lives! Who says you can’t verbalise your need and want for appreciation to your boss, your spouse, your friend or even your parents?

If they don’t know they aren’t givng you what you want, then isn’t it your job to let them know? Of course, it’s not about you walking up and demand something like “I want you to show me your appreciation!” but rather by first giving yourself or your service to others and in turn, telling them nicely that you would really be thankful if they were to let you know when you’ve done an excellent job!

Ask, and you will receive.

At least, you are creating opportunities and windows for happiness, love, joy and satisfaction to flow into your life.

Remember, when you get it, be grateful and express your gratitude to the giver.

That’s how relationship is built and maintained.

He had already fallen for her even when she was dating another guy. Hence, he decided to linger around her side and be her “confidante”. As a result, he was the first to know about what went on between her and her boyfriend. When they broke up, guess who was there to be the saviour?

They were classmates in a part-time degree course. Both of them were holding day time jobs, and she was one of the more popular girls in class. To get near her, he went all out to be there for her when she needed help. When he knew she had an intention to quit school because of the exhausting schedule juggling work and school, he bought a car and started ferrying her from office to school and home after that. As a result, he eliminated all competition because he would be the one to have dinner with her before school and sending her home. For this, she continued with her studies and they got married.

What can we learn from the two cases above?

When we set goals, we need to have a strategy on how to achieve them. However many times, we are conscientious on devising strategies to accomplish monetary and career goals, but when it comes to matters of the heart, they feel that having a strategy means setting up a trap for the other person.

I really beg to differ, for it is my belief that as with anything in life, it requires a strategy. The first plan may not work out, but we’ll definitely learn some lessons and use them to fine-tune our strategy. 

Did those two guys trick the girls to be their girlfriends or even wife? No, but they did know of the best way to get close to them and constantly remain at the top of the girl’s mind. The love and sincerity is genuine, and this, is precisely the reason why having a strategy to go after a girl (or even guy) is not considered a devious trap.

However, if a guy intends to go after a girl for immoral reasons, then regardless if he has a strategy or not, his intentions are not pure to begin with.

If you’re keen to find out more about powerful strategies to make the person you’re attracted to fall in love with you, you may like to submit your name by clicking here. When the seminar is finalised, you’ll be the first to be notified.

Use a strategy and get your goals!

“Hi Kloudiia!

I met my BF during college, he was the uncle of one of my close friends. Since then we start getting to know each other by means of communication; texting, calls, emails, letters and chatting. Later on, we both agreed to be committed in a sense of online relationship.. so he become my BF for couples of months only, I broke up with him because I don’t want to be totally attached knowing that this relationship is not for real I always feel incomplete. I start longing for the real one.. someone that I can be with, someone I can hug and kiss, I can feel and see in personal. But unfortunately were in different side of the world.. he couldn’t find time to see me and be together thats why I decided to break up with him. Beacause it doesnt work out, I feel so bored in our realtionship. The break up was really good, we still friends after all.

After college, we go in our separate ways.. he got jobs in our country, and I luckily got a job abroad.. we lost communication after months but its like destiny that we met again online.. he found me in a website.. we start communicating again and same old story happpened “history repeat itself as what they called it” but then this time around I wouldn’t allow him to be part of my life more than as friends. I haven’t given him chance although he ask for it. I went home in our country for vacation only. And since we’re friends I agreed to meet him, we spend time together. We go out of town for weeks in islands with friends and spends weekends together. He always insist whenever he got chance to tell me he want second chance for our relationship, he keep on telling me that he will make it up this time. I said “NO” we better off as fiends.

But something happend that I really don’t expect.. we had sex and after what happened we still seeing and communicating with each other more and more. Time flies to fast and I have to go back to work, before my flight we talk and make things clear. He wanted to continue the relationship. And so we did long distance relationship.. but as our relationship was on going I heard many things about him from our friends that he was a GAY. My friends told me to break up with him. Even before,the first time I met him, I heard that issue already. But I just ignore it because we having online relationship not that too serious and its not really big deal knowing that I’m too young that time. I’m not that bother that much, but now I’m really bothered because I notice that as well during the time I was in our country and we spend time together. But its like its hard for me to believe i don’t know what stopping me to break up with him this time knowing his a gay. I really don’t know what to do? How would I know if he is really gay? How would I know if he really loves me or just using me to hide his real identity.

Thanks,
sweetangel”

Dear Sweetangel

This relationship, if it’s ever considered as one, sounds too complicated even for an adult, much less for a college student to be able to handle, really. In my opinion, you certainly don’t deserve to be in such a tricky situation.

There are more than one issue here that I can see, and the man’s sexual preference is just but one of them. The age gap is another issue. And he doesn’t seem to be mature in his thinking for someone his age. You didn’t mention how old he is, but since he’s the uncle of one of your classmates, I presume he’s a working adult while you’re still a college student. Hence in terms of knowing what he’s thinking and his real motives, you might have some degree of difficulty in reading his mind.

An online relationship sounds too far-fetched for anyone to be able to relate that to any form of connection between two people. And when he later found you again online, why is that considered as destiny when he knew too well there would be a high possibility of locating you on the “webosphere” (if I may invent this word) at this time and age when social networking sites are the norm for young people like you to make friends, to see and be seen? Gosh, even Barrack Obama can be found on Facebook. So, for your own sake, maybe you’d like to de-fantasize about this a little bit?

As at now, there are three things seeking your immediate attention. Let me put them in point form for your easy understanding:

1. Medical checkup. Since you’ve had sex with him, it’s advisable to go for a health checkup. I know this might sound ridiculous, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. If possible, get a girlfriend or your mom to accompany you to the doctor. I hope you had protection during sex. 

2. Cut off ties. I know I shouldn’t sound imposing, however you know as well as I do how this situation is taxing you emotionally and mentally now. Does it really matter if he’s gay? How much do you know about this person to let him be part of your life in such an intimate way? How is his integrity like? His character? Is he an honest man? What good will come out from continuing this unclear relationship with him?  

3. Get support. You need to have a support network at this time if you were to be committed to have a clean cut with this person and get him out of your life totally. Have you considered confiding this issue with someone close to you and you know you can count on at a time like this? I hope you share a good relationship with your mother, for she’s naturally the best choice a daughter can hope to have to help you tide through this period. Otherwise, maybe you can consider getting a therapist. Is there any volunteer group in your town that provides such a service to college students?

You said you don’t know what is stopping you from breaking up with him. This, to me, only means that you are planning to break up with him. If my deduction is correct, then I must applaud you for making this decision. What is left now is for you to have that courage and determination to see it through. I forsee you’ll need to have a steel will to want him out of your life for he may not let you go so easily. Are you willing to walk away from this situation and move on with your life afresh?

You know only you can decide how to live your life, not anyone else, don’t you?

I hope you sit down and reflect upon this issue. What has this sort of relationship brought you so far? List down the good and the bad. Take a good look at them and see what are the lessons you can learn. 

If you need more help, please email me again.

I hope that you’ll have your life back in control again and I wish you all the best.

Love, Kloudiia

Now, you see this girl and your heart starts beating madly. You feel as if the whole world has stopped spinning for you, and now it’s your moment to let her know your feelings. It’s as if you can hear the music playing in the background, and your body feels light as a feather. You are now floating on cloud nine.

All of a sudden, the music stops. The silence is deadening, and the drastic change brings you back to reality in a sharp way.

You realise one missing piece from the whole jigsaw – you don’t know how to show your interest for her!

I remember this guy friend who is very chatty and loves flirting around with girls, until one time when I saw him humming and hawing in the presence of a girl. I was shocked and bewildered. Of course, I didn’t hide my shock from him. My look said it all.

I remember asking him: “Why are you so tongue-tied with that girl? Don’t tell me you – like – her?” “How did you know? You mean it’s very obvious?” he asked. “Well, yeah, you are not yourself anymore! So it’s either you like her or she likes you and you don’t! Ha ha… oh, I didn’t know you would have this day too! Ha ha ha …”

I didn’t mean to be so mean, really, but I couldn’t leave him without taking a jab at him. He growled at me, and asked: “So, do you have any tips for me? How do you find her?” 

Okay, we were both in junior college then, and I knew him from secondary school days. He has a glib tongue; everyone knows and can attest to this “virtue”. However, in the presence of his “goddess” as he called her, he went jelly. 

I gave him some tips, and I hope he find it useful. Fast forward to twenty years later (man, time flies!), maybe these tips will still come in handy for guys who still have their hair-standing, heart-stopping moments when coming face to face with their goddess, princess or simply, their girl of their dreams. 

It that’s you, then read on …

5 Tips To Show Your Interest For Her (without saying “I like you” to her)

1. Speak with your eyes. Look into her eyes for a full minute, if you can. Otherwise, 30 seconds is good enough too. No blinking, just pure gazing into her eyes. But please, do not stare at her as if you’re about to eat her up. Gaze at her as if you’re saying “You’re so beautiful” with your eyes.

2. Speak with your hands. Guide her along when you’re walking. Offer to help her with any heavy stuff she’s carrying. Block any “danger materials” that are flying towards her. Girls are very drawn to strong arms, so show off your strength!

3. Speak with your heart. Do you know how to give a good compliment? There are 3 easy steps to follow: 1 – Notice the one thing you like to compliment, e.g. her beautiful eyes. 2 – Tell her how her eyes make her light up and stand out among the crowd. 3 – Ask her a question. In this case, ask her if anyone has told her how lovely her eyes are? In order for these 3 steps to work, there is a critical pre-requisite: You are really sincere about it. That’s what I mean by “speaking with your heart”. A false compliment will only sound as it – fake and manipulative. Girls won’t fall for it.

4. Speak with your action. Action speaks louder than words! Show your interest by showing interest in all she says, what she does and what she likes. Then manifest it through little action like helping her to order her favourite drink and reminding the waiter the way she likes it: less sugar and no ice, for example.

5. Speak through your friends. It’s time to leverage on your network of friends. Express your admiration for this girl to friends who know her friends too. It’s just a matter of time that she gets wind of this guy’s crush on her. When you next brush shoulder with her, remember to smile and do Tip #1 immediately!

See, you don’t have to say “I like you” if that makes you go weak in your knees and threaten to put you in a temporary shock. Of course, it is undeniable that that would be the fastest way to show your interest to the girl. But, you may like to take comfort to know that, while that is the fastest, not all girls take to that! As the saying goes, different strokes for different folks!

Surprise! Surprise!

Buying gifts for your loved one is an almost sure-hit romantic trick to make him/her fall to their knees. Similarly, launching a surprise move or act on your partner will give them immense pleasure as well. Like throwing an unexpected birthday party with a theme of his fantasy or hobby would surely go way down in his memory.

However, after a period of sneaking around preparing for this big moment, you might get a rude ‘surprise’ from your partner when you see the look of shock on their face when you shout “Surprise! Surprise!” You know well enough that that look wasn’t one of excitement.

Before you begin to feel depressed that you have failed as a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife terribly, take heart to know that you are, usually, not alone.

So how to surprise your loved one correctly so that they will receive it in exactly the intended form you planned for them – a sweet, nice, pleasant surprise?

The key is this – knowing them well.

Yes, you have to know your partner extremely well in order to make the right guess what they are wishing for in their hearts. How to know them really well? Use these 3 tips:

1. Listen – they may have casually mentioned about that wish, that unfulfilled dream or simply that iPhone they have eyed so long and is aching to have one. Or, they may be telling friends about how excited they’ll be if they can celebrate their wedding anniversary at Christmas Island. Get it?

2. Observe – pay close attention to your partner. Does his eyes light up when you mention F1? Does she clutch your hand tightly when she passes by the Korean popstar Rain?

3. Ask – when in doubt, always ask. Of course, you can practise lots of tact when asking so you won’t let the cat out of the bag. But at least you are sure that you are on the right track. 

Remember, pay attention to all the details, even down to the favourite colour for that particular item of your surprise. For example, she may love burning red roses but abhor blazing red pants. He may relish blue walls and shirts but squirm at blue suede shoes.

Lastly, if your surprise didn’t turn out to be the real deal, take that as feedback and make it a better one next time! As for you, if your partner meant to give you a surprise but somewhere alone the line messed it up a little, remind yourself that it’s the action, the love and the effort that truly counts.

I know, it can be a tad disappointing to see that you are not getting a white instead of blue because it is a telling sign on how much your partner actually knows you. Yes guys, ladies do use this as a way to gauge how much your love for them is, because by a woman’s standard, if you love her very much, you will know her very well.

But to all of you disappointed recipients of surprises, please, brush this aside and tell your partners sweetly that you appreciate their efforts. You do, don’t you? So focus on the thanks, and the rest will take care of itself.

“Hi Kloudiia!

Good day to you. Came across your website while surfing the net. Tried to send in my message through your website but was bounced back??

I was reading your article on ’10 signs that he likes you’ and trying to recall if this guy that I met for the first time did what you mentioned.

He didn’t initiate the second date till today (it’s been a week plus since the first date) but occasionally when we meet online i.e. MSN, he will initiate the conversation, for a brief one and then log out to do his revision (he has a very important exam in September and kinda stressed up with that). Most of the time due to the quick conversation, we hardly chat things deeply but just a very casual one like ‘how’s day’..

So, my problem now is..I have a good impression on him, and wish to know how he feels about me, as from what I see now, he doesn’t seem to show more interest of knowing me. So, do you think I should do something to find out how he feels or just let it be (or at least wait after his exam)?? If you think I should find out, what do you think that I can do??

Is it true that girls should never initiate any date with guys as they will be turned off by that??

Hope to hear from you soon.” - YW

Dear YW

Ok, read this article ”Love Advice: 7 Tips & Strategies To Woo A Man Secretly” first if you haven’t done so already. Though the situation there may differ slightly from yours, have a grasp on the concept I shared in there and you’ll be in a better position when you need to come up with your strategy.

For now, let’s decipher his actions and see if we can find any clue to the answer in his heart. He has asked you on a second date. So that means he finds you good company. Though too soon to tell if that fondness can be further developed, at least one fact stands – you’re still in the game.

His lukewarm conversations on MSN could either be his character or as you’ve said, he needs to revise for an important exam. There are some people in this world who don’t relish chatting with someone and baring their hearts out while staring at a computer screen. They might be more interpersonal, and so MSN is only for very casual hi’s and bye’s.

Don’t read too much into his virtual habits. One thing you can take heart is he seems to always initiate a conversation with you. So this is a piece of good news. Even if he says hi to perhaps a hundred more girls at the same time is something we don’t know and won’t waste time in guessing. At least for this moment, these signs still look promising enough to pursue.

You know what, you have said something rather significant. I’m not sure if you know how important it is or not. You don’t really know him that well, do you? Since you guys hardly have any reasonable amount of time to chat about something deeper.

Do you think it matters to know him well enough before you decide if you should take further action? If you think it matters, then how about giving yourself some time now, while he is busy with exams, to list down what are the stuff you deem important to know. So that when the time comes, you are well-prepared.

If you are anxious now to see how high your chances are and unwilling to wait till exams are over, maybe you can engage him in some harmless flirting and banter. Not only can it help him to relax in the midst of tense studying, he may like to chat with you more! In the course of doing so, you’ve established yourself one place higher up in his heart.  

I’ll share this trick with you. During any conversation, when he mentions something or do something you find endearing, don’t let the golden opportunity slip by. Casually say things like “Oh that is so sweet/cool/smart/ingenious. This is what I’d look for in a partner,” and watch his reaction. If he’s also into you, he’ll probably return this favour.

I need to put a disclaimer here: Guys if you have read this and the next time a gal does this, please don’t embarrass her by asking her “Are you hinting to me you like me?” ok? Spare her the blush and react accordingly. She’ll be glad even if you don’t reciprocate her feelings.

To reply your last question, it’s alright now to let a guy knows how you feel towards him. He will only run for his life if you bite onto his tail and refuse to let go unless he returns your affection. There are ways for a woman to show her interest and in turn leads the guy into doing the chasing after all. *wink*

Last but not least, I’d encourge you to register to be in my mailing list. You might be interested in an upcoming seminar that you won’t want to miss out.

All the best to you YW.

Love, Kloudiia